october is the new "new year's"
it's nearing the end of october and it's finally, finally feeling like fall outside. the summers here continue to get longer and more brutal every year, it's honestly such a bummer.
i've officially lived in new mexico for five years now! hard to believe. i feel like it was just yesterday i was planning my move here and then taking on the three day cross country drive by myself to make it happen (with both cats lol).
october always feels like the new year to me now, i think because of this. two songs i really listened to a lot on that drive were kim petras' 'the future starts now' and aly & aj's 'all the pretty places.' they just summed up the journey for me. so now? october is my new year, when things are quieting down and you have the space to reflect on your year. & reflect on what you've been doing for the last however many months.
i feel like i can really get stuck in the mud about wondering (read: worrying) what my life would look like if i had made any other hundreds of choices. i keep thinking about this comment i saw a week or two ago about how kierkegaard said that regret lies in the choices you don't make. the path not taken is the most alluring one. so you have to make decisions not on what the so-called "right" choice is, but on which regret you can live with most.
i'm not sure if i'm made all the right choices - i mean, who has?! - but i do feel grateful that my life has lead me to where i am. new mexico has made me a homeowner (aka, i rent from the bank instead of a landlord lol), a wife, a mother, and by the end of next year, a college grad!
happy fall, friends. happy new year lol. 🎃✨